A Broadstairs mum says she hopes a new bench installed in memory of her son will be a comfort to his friends but also a place for anyone who is feeling low to sit and find help via a plaque which will display a poem and support numbers.
Teaching assistant Louise Knight has had the bench installed on the green at the bottom of Seacroft Road, overlooking the sea, in memory of son Gabriel Farmer who tragically took his life in May 2023, aged just 23.
Gabriel had a huge sense of humour and care for others but also struggled with poor mental health.
Louise had desperately sought support but Gabriel was left without the professional intervention that may have helped him. He had been incorrectly discharged from QEQM Hospital as ‘low risk’ after a suicide attempt and sadly took his life just eight days later.
An inquest into Gabriel’s death heard he had tried to end his life on six occasions between August 2022 and April 2023.
Louise says she wants to prevent any other family going through the same pain and grief as hers and hopes the bench will play a part in that.
Currently the wood is engraved with the words “Gabriel Farmer aka Big G Forever 23.’
Plaques are being made which should be in place by next month containing a heartfelt poem written by Louise, helpline numbers and a QR code which will link to photos of Gabriel.
Louise said: “I feel so much better now the bench is there. It’s just beautiful.
“I am getting the plaque put on with the numbers and the QR code linked with pictures of Gabe.
“He’s at home with me, where he should be, but there was nowhere for his friends to just go and sit with him. So many people have already been down there (to the bench installed on March 14) to just sit and that fills up my heart.
“He used to go to that spot when he was really sad to sit and think. I’d often go and find him sitting there and I wonder how many other young lads do that.
“I want the bench for him and his friends and also for anybody who feels a bit low to go and sit there. I have said to Gabe’s friends ‘if you see someone sitting there say ‘did you know Gabe, did you need a chat’. It could be the first point of call for someone who is struggling.”
The plaque will also be engraved with Louise’s poem which says:
“Sit on this bench and please don’t feel alone
“Hopefully someone will see you and help you to get home
“Please just call a number below and reach out for some help
“Don’t let your family feel the hurt my family felt
“I wished I had the strength to live another day
“ and didn’t let the darkness take my days away.
“Know I’m up in heaven but sitting by your side….
“this life can be so heavy but just stay and enjoy the ride!
“Tomorrow isn’t promised and yesterday has gone
“but know you have a family and with that’s where you belong xx”
Mental health numbers
- Mind 03001021234
- Samaritans 126123
- Safe Haven 07850655877
- Calm 0800585858
Louise, 50, added: “It’s in such a lovely place on the way to the park. It’s busy but it’s also quiet. It’s peaceful to sit there.”
Gabriel left behind mum Lou, sister Lilli, family and many friends.
Louise says she has found comfort in her work at St Mildred’s infant school, where daughter Lilli also works.
Louise said: “My job pulls me through. It’s hard but rewarding, you get all the love from the children and everyone at work has been brilliant.”
Benches are good. Thank you.
Poor lad not receiving the help he needed from the NHS. How can a hospital just discharge him knowing how many times he had attempted suicide before? My heart bleeds so much for mum Louise and family who tried in vain to get Gabe some help. He was vulnerable and in desperate need but the system once again fails those who have mental health issues. I am so sorry to read about this awful waste of a young life.
I hope people see the phone numbers and QR code and use them if they feel low and desperate for help.
I could not agree more. MY ELDEST NEPHEW AND YOUNGEST NIECE TOOK THEIR LIVES.
Sincere condolences to you Mark. And to Louise 🌹
It was traditionally the role of the church to care for parishioners and was never an intended role for the National Health Service. The NHS was established to provide Basic healthcare to keep the population healthy and able to work when there was on technology and simple procedures. These days so much has been falsely “medicalised” to bring it under the “free” umbrella that it is destroying the country and the economy to the point where we will soon not be able to afford any state funded healthcare.
A tragic event, which has clearly caused much pain.
But, before the poem is engraved, I would urge Louise to consult with (for example) the Samaritans as to appropriate wording.
I worked in mental health in the NHS for many years what always amazed me was how very ill and in need of mental health care patients were by the time they were admitted to our ward, since Margaret Thatcher closed down many mental health hospitals and thousands of beds have been lost The number of suicides has gradually increased year on year. Condolences to you and family in your enormous loss RIP.